Per Madonna, anyway. And I agree ... we always want what we can't have, right? This may be a bit mopey, so get ready.
I had to reject a dude (pronounced DOOOOOOOOOD) tonight and it doesn't feel good. It's actually pretty shitty. We went on a "date" and I had a genuinely good time with him but it just isn't romantic. And I could probably fake the funk or convince myself to just go with it because he's got a ton of great qualities and he's not mean to me, but it's the year of MIH and that's just not acceptable. There's is no settling anymore -- not fair to him and not fair to me.
And so I'm trying to explain myself to him and being so honest and genuine (if you think there's any other way, you're wrong ... the truth, no matter how much it hurts to hear or say is always fucking better than lame-sugarcoating ... and that's coming from a girl who's had her fair share of an assortment of rejections) and saying the most cliche things: "You're a great guy," "I really want to be friends," etc. And every one of them is true but I still end up sounding like a dick. And I don't know what he thinks ... I can't read him yet.
And there it is. Perpetually single Beckstasy passes a decent one up. Makes you wonder where the actual discrepancy lies.
Whatever. Someone go get laid for me. Oh, that'd be you Layla.
*** Beckstasy ***
Saturday, May 31, 2008
Thursday, May 29, 2008
Ex-wives is CRAZY
For serious. Like a fucking tornado of crazy. You'd think for me to be having ex-wife drama I'd at least be boning an ex-husband. So not even the case.
I understand why men think women are fucking crazy. Seriously. I'm just so blown away. I don't even know what else to say, aside from bitch is crazy.
I don't think I said crazy enough.
BATTY. CRAZY.
I understand why men think women are fucking crazy. Seriously. I'm just so blown away. I don't even know what else to say, aside from bitch is crazy.
I don't think I said crazy enough.
BATTY. CRAZY.
Thursday, May 22, 2008
Status Cars and other musings
OK, I was KNEW GM was gonna come out during Idol (pretty much the only minutes of the show I watched). I would have wanted him to do something a little more jazzy though. I would have LOVED had he done "Freedom '90," but secretly I really wanted Gayken to come out and duet on "Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me." I'll never forget when Gayken did it during his tenure on Idol. It totally gave me the chills. Wow, is my stock plummeting or what?
I miss pedicures. I miss my feet not looking a hot mess. I mean, they're absurd enough as it is, with all my toes being pretty much the same length. They look like bears' paws. For serious.
So I got to thinking about status/sports cars a few days ago. I mean clearly, that stuff just ain't my bag. But what really got me thinking was about how much of a commitment owning one of those cars must be. Not in terms of maintaining the car itself, but about maintaining your image. I don't know one new model from the next, but those who keep up with this sort of thing sure as shit do. I mean, you have to have the newest, fastest, shiniest, most banging model right?
Like, I'll see an old corvette (not vintage old, just like 80s old) and think about the schlub driving it. He probably got so much pussy back in the day, when he had all his hair, an eight-ball to spare, his brand new shiney red corvette, and new all the words to "Wall Street" by heart. Greed was good. But really, who can be bothered?
I miss pedicures. I miss my feet not looking a hot mess. I mean, they're absurd enough as it is, with all my toes being pretty much the same length. They look like bears' paws. For serious.
So I got to thinking about status/sports cars a few days ago. I mean clearly, that stuff just ain't my bag. But what really got me thinking was about how much of a commitment owning one of those cars must be. Not in terms of maintaining the car itself, but about maintaining your image. I don't know one new model from the next, but those who keep up with this sort of thing sure as shit do. I mean, you have to have the newest, fastest, shiniest, most banging model right?
Like, I'll see an old corvette (not vintage old, just like 80s old) and think about the schlub driving it. He probably got so much pussy back in the day, when he had all his hair, an eight-ball to spare, his brand new shiney red corvette, and new all the words to "Wall Street" by heart. Greed was good. But really, who can be bothered?
Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Random thoughts for 12:40 a.m.
Harrison Ford is a funny DOOD.
Leona Lewis has an awesome voice.
I need a manicure with a quickness.
They always come back. Honestly, they do. You can only hope that by the time they come to their senses you've moved on.
I'm pumped for "Idol" to end and "So You Think You Can Dance To Start." Seriously.
Cover letters kill my soul.
"The Motown Song" by Rod Stewart and The Temptations is the J-A-M, jayum. Listen to it.
And that's the best I can do right now. I have a career day tomorrow at a middle school (isn't that a bit early?) so I need to get my beauty rest for the kiddies.
*** Beckstasy ***
Leona Lewis has an awesome voice.
I need a manicure with a quickness.
They always come back. Honestly, they do. You can only hope that by the time they come to their senses you've moved on.
I'm pumped for "Idol" to end and "So You Think You Can Dance To Start." Seriously.
Cover letters kill my soul.
"The Motown Song" by Rod Stewart and The Temptations is the J-A-M, jayum. Listen to it.
And that's the best I can do right now. I have a career day tomorrow at a middle school (isn't that a bit early?) so I need to get my beauty rest for the kiddies.
*** Beckstasy ***
Monday, May 19, 2008
Act II: Layla gets her groove back
What does a gay horse eat?
Heeeeeeeeeyyyyy!
So yeah, I know it's been a really long time since I've updated anything, and for that I truly suck. It's funny though, because Beckstasy was telling me about going back and reading old posts and realizing our brilliance and humor. When I go back and read mine I just sort of cringe! HA! Needless to say a lot has changed or gone on or whatevs since I last posted. I was just too busy or depressed to keep a running commentary going.
So yeah, I've since taken on, and then quit a second waitressing job. I just wasn't into it, and I was working constantly. It totally blew. I was very blue and cranky and meepy. Still not homesick, but intensely people sick. I couldn't make any plans or see any of the new people I'm trying to develop relationships with. So I says to myself, I says:
"This is not why you moved to Portland."
I re-crunched the numbers, and after remembering that I actually get paychecks from my wages, I could make it work. So I effin quit that other waitress job at the fish restaurant, and felt tons better. Then a really amazing opportunity dropped into my lap to fill in for a gal at a PR firm while she's on maternity leave. Now, THAT'S why I moved to Portland, to expose myself to new opportunities. I'm so thrilled that my buddy T'Beatcha had the good faith in me to suggest me for an interview. One turned to three, one of which last three hours alone. I'd never felt so confident about an interview though, and they responded in kind...so that's a huge boost for me and I couldn't be more excited to get it under way.
That means this week is my last week on the schedule at Touche. We came up with the joke that Touche years are like dog years. I can't believe I've only been there a month. It's not necessarily a complaint, because I'm not excited to be done there, I'm excited to just be done with waitressing. I'm really over it. The people have been really good to me, and I am flattered to have been welcomed into the cliquish little family they have. It'll be fun when I randomly pick up shifts.
So yeah, that's the past month or so for you. It feels like a lot longer. The weather has been unfuckingbelievable for the past few days, not a cloud in the sky. I already have a tan. For serious. I really am so affected by the weather, and I'm starting to worry about what winter is like here, but eff it. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.
Annnnd, you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why, Maura Mone is coming to town. I'm super excited about that shit meng! It's gonna be a funny bitch party when we go camping with her girls from Leeds.
I'm starting to really have a lot if fun. I've been skating more than ever, doing the 12 mile outdoor loop a few times. I feel great afterwards. Derbs is great of course, though we lost to GnR last night. I'm not to bent out about it, despite the flaws, I think it was a great game, and I really like all the broads I skated against. They're funtime peeps. We had a derby BBQ yesterday and it was a real blast also. Lots of food and chillaxing.
So I start my new job on Wednesday. Wish me e-luck. I don't really feel like proof reading this. I just can't be bothered. I hope it isn't boring. It might be, I don't want to disappoint the readership (all 7 of you good folks). Hope your taking your passion and making it happen too.
PS, I fucking miss me some Beckstasy. Now the pressure is on her to post something. Oh, and if you people are reading this, feel free to comment for us.
Heeeeeeeeeyyyyy!
So yeah, I know it's been a really long time since I've updated anything, and for that I truly suck. It's funny though, because Beckstasy was telling me about going back and reading old posts and realizing our brilliance and humor. When I go back and read mine I just sort of cringe! HA! Needless to say a lot has changed or gone on or whatevs since I last posted. I was just too busy or depressed to keep a running commentary going.
So yeah, I've since taken on, and then quit a second waitressing job. I just wasn't into it, and I was working constantly. It totally blew. I was very blue and cranky and meepy. Still not homesick, but intensely people sick. I couldn't make any plans or see any of the new people I'm trying to develop relationships with. So I says to myself, I says:
"This is not why you moved to Portland."
I re-crunched the numbers, and after remembering that I actually get paychecks from my wages, I could make it work. So I effin quit that other waitress job at the fish restaurant, and felt tons better. Then a really amazing opportunity dropped into my lap to fill in for a gal at a PR firm while she's on maternity leave. Now, THAT'S why I moved to Portland, to expose myself to new opportunities. I'm so thrilled that my buddy T'Beatcha had the good faith in me to suggest me for an interview. One turned to three, one of which last three hours alone. I'd never felt so confident about an interview though, and they responded in kind...so that's a huge boost for me and I couldn't be more excited to get it under way.
That means this week is my last week on the schedule at Touche. We came up with the joke that Touche years are like dog years. I can't believe I've only been there a month. It's not necessarily a complaint, because I'm not excited to be done there, I'm excited to just be done with waitressing. I'm really over it. The people have been really good to me, and I am flattered to have been welcomed into the cliquish little family they have. It'll be fun when I randomly pick up shifts.
So yeah, that's the past month or so for you. It feels like a lot longer. The weather has been unfuckingbelievable for the past few days, not a cloud in the sky. I already have a tan. For serious. I really am so affected by the weather, and I'm starting to worry about what winter is like here, but eff it. I'll burn that bridge when I come to it.
Annnnd, you better watch out, you better not cry, you better not pout I'm telling you why, Maura Mone is coming to town. I'm super excited about that shit meng! It's gonna be a funny bitch party when we go camping with her girls from Leeds.
I'm starting to really have a lot if fun. I've been skating more than ever, doing the 12 mile outdoor loop a few times. I feel great afterwards. Derbs is great of course, though we lost to GnR last night. I'm not to bent out about it, despite the flaws, I think it was a great game, and I really like all the broads I skated against. They're funtime peeps. We had a derby BBQ yesterday and it was a real blast also. Lots of food and chillaxing.
So I start my new job on Wednesday. Wish me e-luck. I don't really feel like proof reading this. I just can't be bothered. I hope it isn't boring. It might be, I don't want to disappoint the readership (all 7 of you good folks). Hope your taking your passion and making it happen too.
PS, I fucking miss me some Beckstasy. Now the pressure is on her to post something. Oh, and if you people are reading this, feel free to comment for us.
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Adventures in food poisoning
I'm disgusting and warning anyone reading this that it may get gross. We'll see how I feel.
So yesterday, Kathryn and I went to Bazookas Sports Bar in Secaucus for lunch. I drowned my fries and burger in ketchup per my normal routine but I was only able to finish half, which for me is pretty unusual. But whatever, 20 pounds by July, right?
Anyway, I come home and get a call from my friend Anna who wants to meet for dinner and a movie in NYC. Cool, I tell her I'll be there around 9. As I'm getting ready, I start to feel kind of queasy but figure it'll pass. Mind you, I hadn't eaten anything in 5 hours and I hadn't been 'sick.' So it was right about the Hoboken stop on the PATH train that my stomach took a hard-core turn for the worse. Anna met me a Christopher Street and we started walking and the gross feeling began to pass so I figured I'd make it. We popped in to a little Thai place and I ordered food with absolutely no intention of eating it.
After my water came, I excused myself and headed to the ONLY female stall in the place. And I kind of let loose. It's a little awkward vom'ing in a public restroom and not being intoxicated. Especially when the sink is on the outside and it's not very convenient for rinsing your disgusting mouth. Oh, that, and you never actually get the fun of being drunk. But I digress ...
Two trips to the bathroom later and a full serving of chicken pad Thai wrapped to go, Anna and I head out to the Angelika. At this point I feel like I've emptied my stomach and everything should be good. Sure, at one point I felt like I was going to pass out after I had expectorated gallons of 'stuff' from my body, but it passed quickly and I really was feeling much better.
So we're headed down Bleecker, passing NYU, when super-disgusting queasy feeling creeps up on me and I tell Anna I have to go around the corner.
"Are you going to vomit?" she asks in her posh British accent.
"Totally," I say as I kneel down and lose it right there in NYU's courtyard at 10 p.m. on Saturday night. And poor Anna (she must have been so embarrassed) insists I get in a cab and go home.
So we hail one and he wants to charge me $42 for the fare and $8 for the toll. WTF?!?!?!? "Actually, can you just take me to the Christopher Street PATH station?"
(Two-minute time elapse) "Actually, can you go ahead and take me to Jersey? Fuck it."
So I give the man my right arm and run upstairs to the bathroom where I stay for a good 25 minutes, constantly toiling over whether I should be hunching over the toilet or sitting on it. Two ruined pair of panties later and I realize I should've just holed up in the shower. Duh.
But on the bright side, I lost five pounds in a single evening and that's 25 percent of the goal.
I really hope this story brings us all closer together.
*** Becks ***
So yesterday, Kathryn and I went to Bazookas Sports Bar in Secaucus for lunch. I drowned my fries and burger in ketchup per my normal routine but I was only able to finish half, which for me is pretty unusual. But whatever, 20 pounds by July, right?
Anyway, I come home and get a call from my friend Anna who wants to meet for dinner and a movie in NYC. Cool, I tell her I'll be there around 9. As I'm getting ready, I start to feel kind of queasy but figure it'll pass. Mind you, I hadn't eaten anything in 5 hours and I hadn't been 'sick.' So it was right about the Hoboken stop on the PATH train that my stomach took a hard-core turn for the worse. Anna met me a Christopher Street and we started walking and the gross feeling began to pass so I figured I'd make it. We popped in to a little Thai place and I ordered food with absolutely no intention of eating it.
After my water came, I excused myself and headed to the ONLY female stall in the place. And I kind of let loose. It's a little awkward vom'ing in a public restroom and not being intoxicated. Especially when the sink is on the outside and it's not very convenient for rinsing your disgusting mouth. Oh, that, and you never actually get the fun of being drunk. But I digress ...
Two trips to the bathroom later and a full serving of chicken pad Thai wrapped to go, Anna and I head out to the Angelika. At this point I feel like I've emptied my stomach and everything should be good. Sure, at one point I felt like I was going to pass out after I had expectorated gallons of 'stuff' from my body, but it passed quickly and I really was feeling much better.
So we're headed down Bleecker, passing NYU, when super-disgusting queasy feeling creeps up on me and I tell Anna I have to go around the corner.
"Are you going to vomit?" she asks in her posh British accent.
"Totally," I say as I kneel down and lose it right there in NYU's courtyard at 10 p.m. on Saturday night. And poor Anna (she must have been so embarrassed) insists I get in a cab and go home.
So we hail one and he wants to charge me $42 for the fare and $8 for the toll. WTF?!?!?!? "Actually, can you just take me to the Christopher Street PATH station?"
(Two-minute time elapse) "Actually, can you go ahead and take me to Jersey? Fuck it."
So I give the man my right arm and run upstairs to the bathroom where I stay for a good 25 minutes, constantly toiling over whether I should be hunching over the toilet or sitting on it. Two ruined pair of panties later and I realize I should've just holed up in the shower. Duh.
But on the bright side, I lost five pounds in a single evening and that's 25 percent of the goal.
I really hope this story brings us all closer together.
*** Becks ***
Saturday, April 5, 2008
Kudos for Zimmipants
Alix makes people look in the mirror and like what they see, regardless of our own perceptions. And that makes her awesome. Duh.
*** Becks ***
*** Becks ***
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