I left my bad habits at the border

I did. I had several bad habits that I've been battling on and off for years, so I decided to leave them behind. I was hoping to not bring them to Portland when I moved out here, but I was also hoping to not have been lugging some of them around for as long as I had been.

Things that I left behind at the border

-Another phone charger.
I'm 2 for 2. The charger was to a phone that is virtually dead anyway. So I guess the bad habit I'm leaving is treating my phones like crap. When I get a "new" one, I'll treat it like gold.

-Coffee.
I have on-again-off-again romances with coffee every few months. I'd been really bad lately, blowing my money on venti non-fat lattes and feeling like crap afterwards. So no mo.' Back on the tea wagon, and I feel better already.

-Cigarettes.
As most of you who know me know, 2007 totally blew. For a varietal of reasons. It was also the year I started regularly smoking again, after over 3 years of not having even a drag. And I really picked it up with a vengeance. If I have a pack of cigarettes, I'll smoke a pack of cigarettes. I'm not drawing any lines in the sand though, if I'm wasted and I bum a drag, don't give me shit. But as it stands, I haven't had even a whiff of butt smoke since Sunday night. SO yeah. That's something eh? Plus I'd made a commitment to myself that if I got drafted to A o A I'd quit them. So there it is.

-Nail Biting.
Just like my coffee habit, I go through phases with biting my nails. I'll go 5 months with perfectly maintained, high-gloss, long nails perfect for scratching that itch, and the envy of many. Right now, they're little nubs that look like they did in High School. No bueno. I've got other things to be self-conscious about...and I'd rather not be self-conscious about anything if I can help it. James treated me to a mani-pedi while I was up there, so I'm gonna stick with it. Well, I'll do it myself. I'm broke as a joke.

-Predictable Heartache.
A certain Canadian man that's never made me feel very good about myself, that I've put too much stock in, and that doesn't really care to be the object of my affections. Rather than waste anymore time, energy, self-depricating thoughts, or blows to my self-esteem, I've really decided to move on. Like, for serious. Because where as before, I had been leading MYSELF along a path of "well, maybe we could make it work," and had experienced the same sentiment from friends who dubbed themselves hopeless romantics, where the hell has it gotten me? Another day older and deeper in heartbreak. So Saint Peter don't you call me, cause I can't go. I owe my soul to...well to someone that's deserving of it. Whereas I used to think I would be rewarded in the end, I've just been feeling pathetic. It's too pathetic to pine over, it's too pathetic to talk about (anymore than I've already done) and it's too pathetic to cry over. And I've worked too hard over the past year in the decisions I've made to let myself be so stagnant, let alone blatantly pathetic.

Onward and upward.